Nelly’s Not The Prophet!!

Brothas and Sistas, Nelly is a rapper not the Prophet! When he wrote the song: IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE – SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES, that was not a revelation and he was not taking to us. Really I should just say sistas cause the brothas are keeping their clothes on (even the pre and post mission clothes from 5 years ago… Shout out to brotha Stephen L , I kinda got your back, I said KINDA) :). Now this is something that ya’ll won’t hear at General Conference. Why you ask, cause the General Relief Society President is more like Aunt Bea and less like Madea. However, there’s a few members of the church that are like **Madea and if you ever have the opportunity to meet them you will gain an immediate testimony of modesty, or want to leave the church.

I know you’re wondering how I know all this, and if I’ve had the opportunity to meet such refreshingly honest women… Well, let’s just say I have a testimony of modesty! Yes, it was baptism by fire! No, there are no pictures! Yes, I feel blessed and highly favored! Yes, my feelings were hurt! No, I didn’t leave the church. Yes sistas all is well in zion… Now!

Stop trying to make things sexy that aren’t. If a police woman walked up to my car to give me a ticket dressed the way some of the female officers dress for Halloween, I would have her arrested for sexual assualt. Nobody wants to see a pregnant nun, or stripper L.D.S. Missionary, it ain’t cute! Sistas let’s stop trying to make stuff sexy thats not sexy! Nurses, really? A maids costume? If your answer is yes, don’t be surprised if your husband expects you to clean in that. When did animals become sexy? Animals… Really? Some of the most profound things I’ve learned in my adult life I’ve learned from my Madea. Who would probably tell us not to let Halloween turn nice housewives into modest hoes.

It’s time for us to return back to basics! Where being an animal meant being fully clothed. Dressing like a nurse meant if you walked into a hospital they’d put you to work. And dressing like a maid meant you looked like you could clean places where dirt and dust collected, not that you were trying to collect other peoples husbands. Sistas we have got to stop trying to look like “sexy teens”, so that our teens won’t be trying to look like “sexy women”. We are all beautiful, and some of us really do have “sweet spirits”. It’s time that we once again proclaim, “I’m Mormon, I can’t”. No, let’s switch that “I’m Mormon, I won’t”. I won’t dress immodest, I won’t be the Naughty Angel, no matter how heavenly it might seem. I won’t embarrass my whole entire church by going on Dr. Phil (my own personal issue thought I’d throw it in). Sistas I’m not trying to throw ya’ll under the bus, I’m just saying we have gotten outta control. Lets save something for our husbands in the privacy of our own homes. There’s no need for us to try to solve all the unsolved mysteries of Halloween. Our new motto should be we are “treats not tricks” . Please stop telling folks ” I’m a dead swimmer” so you can wear a bikini (Renee)!

We don’t really want our dear Prophet to have to address this issue again. Asking us how we went from being Celestial Wholesome Queens on the 30 of Oct., to Naughty, Naked, and Obscene on 31 of Oct. What a difference a day makes! I don’t want President Monson calling Madea. Don’t be fooled, the LDS Church has a couple different versions of Madea! Trust me, we got a Madea that speaks every language, even suburbia. What are your thoughts on Halloween? All caution has a cost – “I’m taking my garments off”!! Or does being modest make you spiritually strong – “I’m keeping my garments on”!

** (Mother Dear = usually grandma, sometimes an older woman in the community not always related. Almost always Black) is about to educate ya’ll without putting you through the public humiliation.

Sista Beehive

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11 comments

  1. I fully agree. Today, I was at UVU and I saw a “sexy” pirate….yeah….not so sexy…not at all…..just slutty…..as it’s like 10 below outside….really? come on. My personal favorite is the “sexy” school girl….since when was dressing up like a child hot? hmmm….never…like really? I kind of just want to vomit! I feel like girls don’t think they have value or are worth anything…maybe this is why they do it. I feel people do it for the attention…they think they look hot? or will get a man? hmmm….maybe…but most likely NOT! its just gross. I don’t wanna see it and most other people don’t either. what also gets me is the MOMS that dress up in the slutty outfits! okay, really?? oh no! you are a MOTHER!!! come the heck on! for real? no. It’s like sayin “Hey kids, follow my example!!” why would you wanna teach your kids that? I sure as heck don’t want my kids to be a nasty when they’s older! :)

  2. I love dressing sexy on Halloween. It is all in good fun. I compare it to being in a play it is a costume have fun with it.

  3. I am with you. Here’s a way my mother would word it, and I would too: “Could you wear that costume to Trunk or Treat?” (Don’t know if your ward does this–basically the ward decorates their cars the kids “trunk’ or treat. There is also usually a chili cook off and games. Anyway…the costumes for not just women, but also our beautiful daughters are awful! yes I am dressing for Halloween. Yes I could wear it at church. Yes my garments will be on. Thanks for this post. It’s a good one.

  4. wow this is a good message…nelly is not a prophet..all his messages give a bad name for brothas and it aint right…yeah he might own part of bball but that dont give him right to talk about women in a bad way…what if they talked about his mama what do u think he would do My point right…

  5. “I’m Mormon, I can’t”. No, let’s switch that “I’m Mormon, I won’t”.
    .
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    THAAAAANNNNKK YOOUUUUUU ! ! !

  6. .

    “However, there’s a few members of the church that are like **Madea and if you ever have the opportunity to meet them you will gain an immediate testimony of modesty, or want to leave the church.”

    Best laugh I’ve had all day.

  7. Love, love, love this post!!!!

  8. Sista, you got it! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Perhaps I could quote you in the book I’m writing. (Remember?)
    I always learn something from you. Didn’t have a clue who Madea was so looked her up. For any others that don’t know her here is the Wikipedia definition!!!
    Mabel Simmons, commonly known as “Madea” is a fictional character created and portrayed by Tyler Perry. Based on Perry’s mother and aunt, Madea is an aggressive, grey-haired, bespectacled black matriarch. She will argue with anyone, frequently threatens people by pulling a gun out of her purse, and is known for her unique pronunciation and enunciation of words as reflected in her tag lines, “I oughta punch chur in da face!” and “Get that man a hat!” She is part of a large family, with many children and grandchildren. Her name is spelled variously as “Mabel” and “Mable”. “Madea” or “Madear” is a typical Southern name for a grandmother; the term is a shortened form of “Mother Dear”.

    Just keep telling the truth Sista Beehive!

  9. Dear Sistas Beehive and Laurel -

    I love this blog! You guys are great!!!

    Yeah … I’m going to have to go with AMEN to everything that’s being said. Comedian Steve Harvey wrote in his book: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man … that women are “giving it up” too easily. I think we as Christian women “give it up” too easily in a different way. One of the ways is in dressing like “modest hos” for Halloween. Another way can be found in the behaviour of women in the singles wards, especially 30+ singles wards. We bake cookies, invite men to dinner, plan activities … basically do all the “hunting” that according to psychologists, we try to do activities that men typically naturally do. We “give it up” way too easily. We as women have to realize that honestly … we don’t have to work that hard. A normal healthy man is “easy.” Really quite uncomplicated. A wink, a smile, a nod of acknowledgment will pretty much do the trick. The mini skirts, the “sexy” animals, the “sexy school-girl” which lik another sista’ mentioned earlier … since when are pedophelic thoughts “sexy.” YEAH!

    Amen!! I’m Mormon! I refuse to give up my virtues … even if it’s only visually.

    Great work sistas. Keep these great stories coming!!!

    A new fan,
    Nei – Orem, UT

  10. I think the following quotes from “For the Strength of Youth” say it the best:

    “Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient.

    “Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. Young women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”

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