Sistas in Zion’s The Mormon Bachelor Breakdown Week 2

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We’re breaking down week two of The Mormon Bachelor.    Nobody asked our opinion, but we’re gonna tell you what we think anyway. Here we go now!

DATE 4: SMASHING

Courtney Childress – Date 4:
What’s better than a date that starts off with Chris doing the cabbage patch dance at the front door? Umm, nothing! Now Courtney, the Sistas are gonna help you read between the lines. Random dancing means that you have a fun -loving, easy-going guy, but expect the wedding video to end up on YouTube with a title like; Crazy Mormon Wedding First Dance. On the way to their paddle boarding date Chris talked about Courtney falling off the paddle board or maybe even throwing her off the paddle board. This could be Chris’ damsel in distress fantasy manifesting itself again. Between the lines it says your guy doesn’t mind seeing you get a little rough and tumble, but Courtney hope you don’t mind a little frosting in your hair. Cause it also means that dude is probably the type that will smash the wedding cake in your face on the big day. There was a little awkward moment where Chris was talking about about college dorms and Courtney’s eyes started to glaze over, but don’t worry ya’ll, she came back to life. At the end of the date Courtney said that if Chris had tried to kiss her she would have taken the kiss cause she’s not very sly at rejecting kisses. Courtney, you gotta learn how to turn your head, cause now that the whole world knows that you can’t reject kisses, every boy in your singles ward is about to test it out.


DATE 5: FAST & FURIOUS

Sharla Klimt – Date 5: Three words: FAST AND FURIOUS. When the door opened, Chris was in a relationship and he didn’t even know it. The hug was a long lingering one that went immediately to waist holding then right to hand holding. If a girl wears white jeans (which she looked fabulous in) on a first date, to go sit on the grass, she is bold. Sharla is not shy, she got her flirt on, and Chris was loving every minute of it. On the car ride over Sharla realized that she and Chris are the same. She thought that he was younger than her and that she was going be ‘cougarin’ on him. Some Mormons don’t know, but in the real world a ‘cougar’ has nothing to do with BYU, it’s an older woman who dates younger men. Technically Sharla is too young to be a cougar, she would be considered a ‘puma’ until about age 35, then after that she’s a ‘panther’ and  around age 40 is where you hit cougar status. The coupledom continued with hand holding, sitting real close, and dance-cuddling. Ya’ll know that Mormon rule about dancing far enough away from your partner that you can fit a Book of Mormon between you? Well we doubt you could have even slipped a New Era magazine between these two. Unlike Courtney’s date, when Chris talked about college Sharla’s eyes lit up and she used it as an opportunity to scoot closer. The goodbye hug on the doorstep was longer, tighter, and closer than the hello hug. And Sharla is the first TMB lady to score a goodnight kiss on the cheek from bachelor Chris! All that move making definitely earned Sharla a second date, but the episode ended with Sharla seeming unsure if she wants a second date with Chris. We’re calling creative editing, but who knows, maybe Sharla prefers younger men, or maybe she was a little disappointed with a kiss on the cheek, she did put a lot of energy into wooing him. Chris has said he’s not a first date kisser, so a kiss on the cheek is a big deal girl!

DATE 6: BROMANCE

Kent Tuttle – Date 6: Chris got stood up by date No. 6, TMB didn’t tell us who she is and we hope it’s not Salina aka Lady Kanye because we are excited to hear about her first time on a plane. When Chris got to the door his friend Kent surprised him as his date. Kent Tuttle’s name should be familiar to everyone because he is who was supposed to be this season’s bachelor, but then he accidentally fell in love with a girl who was not on the show. Well he’s Chris’ roommate and BFF. No lingering hugs for this date, but they did do this handshake thing that looked like a BYU approved version of patty-cake. Chris and Kent talked about what’s going on with them and we find out that Chris has a little trouble keeping the TMB ladies straight. He sent a text message to the wrong girl and got caught. It’s understandable though, Chris is juggling more women than the guy on Sister Wives. Kent talked some about his choice to leave TMB and pursue his relationship with Carlie. Kent says he is on cloud 9 and absolutely made the right decision and describes them as a ‘power couple.’ Kent seems to be a man in love and since we’re having fun watching Chris, we’re happy with the way things turned out too. Chris talked about speaking frankly about the girls he is attracted to on the show and we commend him for his honesty. He expounded on the the Jessica issue and hopefully it is put to bed now. (At least until the reunion show, which the Sistas have nominated themselves to host.) It was a nice change seeing Chris just being one of the guys.

Question: When dating is it cool for the lady to make the moves?

God is Great,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel

  • Tiffany Migdat

    i am loving these recaps you guys are hilarious! i nominate myself to be your bff

  • Nomination accepted, vote taken, you’re in BFF status now! We hope we’re gonna get to see another date with you and Chris soon!

  • First of all I think you would make great hosts on the show. I am smiling and lol on this one. You two are such fun and creative writers. I really am enjoying your thoughts on those dates.
    Blessing!

  • Glad you’re enjoying the date recaps!