Pray for My Family! – Transitioning into a Stay-at-Home Mom

Sista Beehive confesses her nervousness about transitioning from working outside the home to a stay-at-home mom.

Many of you don’t know that in my real life I am a hairstylist. Over the last 16 years I have been helping to beautify the women and men in Utah one highlight, relaxer or haircut at a time. Everyone knows that stylists aren’t just people who provide hair care, we are the people that you confess your sins or someone else’s sins to. We provide you with advice and sometimes it’s actually beneficial to you and your loved ones.

What I’m really trying to say is having your hair done at my salon was an experience that most of the people that I have come in contact with seemed to enjoy. In urban communities the church (no, not the Mormon church) and salon are main sources of information and news. Even God knows that people will miss church before they will skip out on a hair appointment…backsliders! Even people who don’t attend church still need access to the information that is important to the community that they are expected to contribute to. I tried to make it my personal goal to know what was happening in our community so that I could pass that information on to the men and women I had the pleasure of serving.

These past few years have been a wonderful journey for me, I’ve met a lot of people and developed some very close relationships. I have always hated referring to the people that I worked on as clients because while most of them started off as clients, we’ve developed deeper relationships. I would consider them my friends and some of them are even as close to me as some members of my family. That is why deciding to close the salon has been such a difficult decision for me.

The past year has been an exciting one for Sistas in Zion (SiZ). As a multi-media entity we have grown and continue to grow. We are in the process of writing our first book which will more than likely be a New York Times Best Seller (keep your fingers crossed). I guess what I’m trying to say is that this past year trying to maintain the salon, SiZ , be a good mother to my children, and a woman who is present in her marriage has been a real struggle for me. It’s a wonder that my family didn’t fire me and hire a new mom/wife (lol). It was time for me to let something go because trying to hold on to everything meant that something or someone was suffering. Those of you who know me know that I’m telling the truth.

Ultimately the driving force that pushed me to make the decision was my family. SiZ affords me the opportunity to work from home so that I can spend more time with my kids while they are still young and some of them still like me. The majority of my friends know that I have never been a “stay-at-home mom” (SAHM). I’m asking you, (all of you whether I’ve done your hair before or not) to please pray for me. I have no idea what I am doing. I don’t know how to hang a picture up on the wall, if you come to my home you will find most of my pictures leaning against the wall and there are no family pictures hanging, not because I’m not proud of my BEAUTIFUL family because I am, just look at my Facebook. I’m just afraid of hitting a stud or missing a stud, I don’t know, I’m going to YouTube it, I’ll figure it out.

I’m worried because the 3 meals that I make the best are: Tacos, Top Ramen, and Oatmeal. Please don’t send me a recipe unless it’s so easy that a 3rd grader can do it because I don’t follow instructions well and if I mess it up I might have a nervous breakdown. I know I’ve already asked, but please keep me and my family in your hearts and prayers. As I transition into this next phase of my life even the title is somewhat intimidating (“Familial Law Enforcer and (or) President of the My Kids Fan Club”) so the thought of what the actual job entails is already overwhelming. However, when I see the women on reality t.v. shows and how they behave with their children I feel optimistic. I know that I should be ashamed for the comparison, but I’m not.

If I could say anything to the people in my community that have trusted me with their children, family members, and secrets, I would say THANK YOU!! To say that I appreciate you is an understatement. I am grateful to you for your support! Thank you for patronizing my business over the past 16 years. You are the reason that I was so successful, you made me love what I do. I know that me closing the salon is going to change our relationship some, that scares me a little. However, much of our relationship was limited to our interaction in the salon and now that can change.

I hope that you will continue to extend invitations to me to join you for those special occasions in your life, more than likely I will have time to attend now. I will be certain to extend invitations to you. You have provided me with a lifetime of memories that I will cherish forever. THANK YOU! You guys have been a wonderful source of love and strength for me! I love you for all your support with the salon, and thank you for your continued support with SiZ. Check back with SiZ occasionally so that I can keep you updated.

“When one door closes, another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

Got any tips for a SAHM that doesn’t have a clue what to do? Remember, no recipes unless a 3rd grader can make it!

Pray Always,
Sista Beehive

44 comments

  1. Remember that a prayer a day doesn’t always keep the swears away ;). Kidding. You know best for you and your family, don’t let what other people are doing for THEIR families get you down. You can do this! As your younger sister trust that so much of what I do- I learned from you. Love you!

  2. I’m so happy for you! What an exciting transition! I can’t wait to see how this goes, and I’m sure it’ll be great! Can’t wait to read your book either! Pass on your easy recipies cause I can’t cook either.

    I am sad for my sister though, cause she is hoping to go to BYU in a couple years and I told her I’d hook yall up for some hair care. At least she can still hang out with you and your sweet family though.

    Congrats again on your transition! XOXO

  3. Wishing you lots of luck, and sending love your way as you go thru stylist-withdrawal.  

  4. You’ll do fine, Sista Beehive! I had my first baby when I was in the middle of college and then a news internship. When I graduated she was already almost 2 and I was like, “OK. So now what?” It’s weird giving up the work life but you learn to love the SAHM life quickly. Good luck with your book and everything. You ladies are awesome!

  5. Sorry, that was my comment down there (MCOAmerica)! Got all mixed up on Twitter.

  6. Allyson thompson

    My gosh I love you!!!! You really are my hero yo!

  7. Not a mom, not a SAHM, but I was raised by one :) I think being one probably has a lot less to do with how put-together your house looks, how perfect your meals are, or how many pictures you can hang in an hour, and a lot more to do with the love and care you give to your family- it seems you’ve already got that down. I think you’ll probably do just fine, but I’ll be praying for you nonetheless!

  8. SingleSistaSaint

    Ok he is the Fwine guy with the fro? Is he single? This girlfriend got to get myself a man so I can have a chance to be a SAHM too! Oh and yes I will pray for you and your family too. 

  9. Ecstatic for you! In full hair crisis for me! I was actually going to call you today! So in need of a cut! Only you know how to make me look good in Red! I will ALWAYS be there for you! Because you are ALWAYS there for me!

  10. Oh Sister Beehive, I love this one. You and your sister always bring on the smiles. I do admit that I grew up part time in a Salon. My mother had her hair done weekly and she started my perms at age 5. I can relate to the Salon Business. I actually wanted to do hair; but I changed and became a nurse.
    You are and will be a great Mom; you have that mom personality so you will do just find. I can’t wait until you two sisters publish a book; I will buy it for sure. I am so happy you are not quiting your blog and radio show because you are a great influence and example.
    For now just enjoy every moment with your precious family because that is what it is all about.
    Blessings and hugs!

  11. Crock pot, Crock pot, Crock pot. Think about it in the morning and then eat it for dinner!

  12. We use crock pots like crazy–there are “super easy crock pot” cookbooks. We also make “breakfast burritos” which is basically scrambled eggs, a can of beans, some grated cheese, and some tortillas. And when I’m cooking we are not above eating cold cereal for dinner. God speed in this next phase of your life.

  13. Cowboy Stew

    1 pound brown hamburger ( can use less)
    1 can cream corn
    1 can Vegall ( mixed veggie with carrots, etc)
    1 small fat little can of tomato sauce
    2 cans of diced tomatoes ( I exchange one can for rotel tomatoes)

    Heat for about 30 minutes to marry favors.
    Yum!!

  14. I became a SAHM five years ago.  It was so weird at first but it was the best decision ever.  Take one day at a time.  It really is okay if certain chores don’t get done on time.  Most importantly, always treat yourself to a nice new handbag every year to reward yourself!  Being a SAHM is hard work but it’s awesome because you’re more involved with your family and that my friend is AWESOME!  

  15. Jocelyn Christensen

    I am not worried about you in the least…you are going to be AWESOME!  All you really need to be a SAHM is a big heart and lots of love for others.  That and the Lord’s help will carry you through.  Don’t try to be perfect in all things at once…just try to love perfectly…and that love will guide you.  Also, I need a hair dresser/confidant…wish you lived near me so we could get together!!!

  16. Godspeed, Sista!  You’ll be fine.

  17. Hopefully if we are all praying it will keep the swears away ;). ‘Cause God knows the last thing I need is for these little ones to start telling folks they learned how to swear from they mama…. It’s time for you to be the teacher little sis, you got this staying at home thing on lock. I will be calling you for some tips. 

  18. You can’t wait to see how this goes? You may just have to come visit this Sista in the mental ward! Whenever your little sister gets here have her look me up, by that time I’ll be itching to do some hair and she will be fresh to def! Can’t wait to see you and the kiddo’s when you come to town, now I’ll have some time to visit :).

  19. Stylist- withdrawal, has already started. Is this something I’m going to need to go to rehab for? Thanks for the love, believe it or not I am feeling it. 

  20. I’m definitely feeling like “now what?” Especially with all of my kids being in school. I’ve walking around my house trying to figure out what to do, it’s overwhelming! And did I mention that I moved everything from the salon into my house… Yes, I am now a candidate for the television show HOARDERS!  :) 

  21. Sista Allyson, I LOVE ya right back! I don’t know why I’m your hero…. I should have followed you out 12yrs ago. You are going to have to walk me through this :). 

  22. Prayers are always welcome. Sista Jessica, if you could see my house you’d know that the first thing I did was figure out that it wasn’t about how clean my house was… If the R.S. president stopped by today she would faint, wake, then call in the team! I will keep you posted and how this is going.

  23. Sista Kathy, there is no need to be in crisis. I have never doubted that you’d have my back, ’cause you know I have yours. We will talk soon ;). 

  24. Sista LeAnn, I’ve been at it for a week and my kids are already trying to get me fired! Stay posted they may have already started sending out my resume. It’s going to be a good thing, I’m going to learn a whole lot of new thangs, like how to cook and clean ~Mormon-Style :).

  25.  Ohhh, Sista Sheri, one of these days I’m going to take a picture of all of the crock pot’s that I have. I’m telling you in advance don’t judge me ;). Girl, I have a crock pot that I convinced that I just had to have only to have it taking up space in the closet for the last 2 years. I’m’ma use it now though, do you use your crock pot in the summer too?

  26.  Sista I cook cereal for dinner a lot, my kids don’t really think it’s all that cute though (crazy right?). So, do you cook breakfast burritos in a crock pot? Also do you put the beans in your burrito or just have them on the side? I should be embarrassed, well I’m a little embarrassed to be asking this, but if you never ask you never know.

  27. Sista Serenity, you say this is a 30 minute meal? Do I have to serve it with sides? What type of seasoning should I use with it? Thanks for the 3rd grade version of this recipe. 

  28. Sista Gwen, you had my full attention when  you said “treat yourself to a new handbag yearly”. I can live with that! It’s hard work and I’ve been home for less then a week. I almost quit yesterday but my husband refused to take my two week notice.Thanks for passing on your wise words of wisdom!

  29. Big heart, check
    Lot’s of Love, Check
    Waiting for the Lord to carry me through this. I’m going to try Sista Laurels philosophy after 17 days it should feel more comfortable or be a habit or something…. Maybe that only works for cussing :). http://www.sistasinzion.com/2013/02/the-cussing-mormon.html

  30. Brotha Kevin, I certainly hope that Godspeed, means “I’m praying for you!” in Mormon that other language that we speak.

    God day Brotha, and thanks for the encouragement. 

  31. 3rd grade Recipe:  Kelley’s spicy sausage casserole 
    Fry up some breakfast sausage.     While it fries, boil some shell macaroni.  Once the breakfast sausages are cooked, break them into inch long pieces, then stir in a couple cans of tomato soup, a large jar of pimentos, and an eight cup tabasco sauce–more or less to taste.  Drain the shell pasta and add the shells to the sausage and soup mixture.  This can either be warmed up and stirred in the pan for a few minutes before serving, or poured into a casserole dish and baked at 350 for 20 minutes before serving. I like it baked, but it’s good both ways.

  32. eighth  not eight

  33. Congratulations AND condolences. I’m sure both are warranted. It sounds like you will miss your wonderful shop. Having said that, I know you will find much joy at home with the kids because that’s how you roll. And so I am really happy that you get to embark on this new adventure…SAHMomism.

    ;)

  34. My prayers are with you. Being a SAHM is not for wimps! As a former elementary school teacher, may I say that you are giving your children the most valuable, powerful gift you could give them. It is hard, but your kids are worth it. As someone who never got to have kids of my own, I think every minute you have with them is precious, even when you want to wring their necks! Love your kids; love yourself, and don’t expect to be the perfect mother. You are the mother God gave them, and your personality is what they need. They don’t need Patty Perfect or Molly Mormon, they need you, with your great love, your sweetness, and your sense of humor. Even your mistakes will bless them (though you might feel like you ruined everything!) You are doing the Lord’s work!! Take care.

  35. I did end up in a Psyche Ward twelve months after becoming a home maker.

    It was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

    I went from being a frustrated and selfish former Broadway Style actor to a woman who had the biggest wakeup call of her life.

    During my hospitalization I met dozens of women who had lost everything because of mental illness.  I was so amazed to realize how blessed I was to be married to a good man and have my baby that the difficulties of emotional illness and new mommy angst melted away and I found myself dedicating my heart and soul to my husband and children.

    My husband just drove out of our driveway this morning to take our oldest son to the MTC.

    If I had abandoned my family to pursue an acting career, he never would have been born.

    When I was healing from my hospitalization and the meds they forced me to take, Heavenly Father encouraged me to eat a Word of Wisdom diet to find my physical and emotional health again.

    The nutrients in whole grains are what mentally ill people are deficient in.

    This type of cooking feels difficult when you are getting started, but it really only takes twenty minutes each morning to make the basic “Daily Bread” foods, and they are so yummy.

    Here is a video tutorial I put together a few years ago.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZTb6OVgevo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Good Luck.

    Love, Sista Jenny

  36. Why is the first thing I pictured was Alyssa watching a youtube video about doing hair and it turning into another “burnt hair youtube video”!???? LOL!! SO many fun memories in the salon!! You are such a strong, empowered, intelligent and charismatic woman……YOU GOT THIS!!! Although the salon will be sorely missed, I mean I did finally admit to my daughter in YOUR presence that I “secretly dated all of her young life” lol. I can’t wait to see you absolutely shine through this new “transition” in your life. However, with that said, I WILL pray for you. I mean we all could use some extra prayer in our lives right??? Heaven knows I could!!! You got this girl!!!

  37. acandlestick.blogspot.com

    You only have one chance when your children are young and at home but hair care will be here forever! It’s hard to be at home full time but take advantage of that once in a lifetime opportunity. You sound bright, happy, honest, talented and will go far as long as you live a life of balance and maintain some time with your adult friends as you sail on this new voyage.

  38. It’s funny, I’ve been home for less then a month and I already have cabin fever. I don’t know how my family operated before I stopped working outside of my house, because since I’ve been home I feel more like Morgan Freeman in “Driving Miss Daisy” then a mother. I will try to remember to maintain balance. Thanks for the great advice!

  39. Sista Shannon, your comment had me tearing up the first time that I read it. I’m sooo happy that I’m hiding behind this keyboard replying because I ain’t ne’va been a pretty crier. If Alyssa burnt her hair off… while try’na make a youtube tutorial…. After, I finished laughing my head off, I would check the hospitals all of them mental ones included to make sure you both survived it. Then when I discovered that all was well, I would call my lil cousin n’em and have one of them call her! You already know what they would say, right?

    Sista Shannon, this doesn’t mean that we gotta stop “steppin to the old skool jams”. Thanks for your prayers they are needed because the crazy is already starting to kick in.

    p.s. Should you ever need to confess anything to Alyssa, I’m a phone call away. I will come running, video camera and all :)).

    Much Love,

    Sista Beehive ;)

  40. Sista Jenny,

    When I read that you had included a youtube video I was all kinds of excited. After watching your video with one of my kids we both want to come live with you :). Sista Jenny, I need to be in the remedial cooking class, and I should probably repeat it several times before I move on. Girl, you were using a hand grinder, and grinding kamut. Until this video I have never even heard of kamut, to be honest most of the stuff you were using isn’t in my pantry. Having said that, I’m headed over to your blog right now. I’m almost sure I can master the hot cereal, I can’t promise bread or muffins, but I’m going to try to work my way up to that. Thank you for the advice and thanks for the video, everything looked yummy!

    Congratulations to your son, serving a mission is still a pretty big deal, and a huge transition for you! I hope you are handling it well.

    p.s. If it doesn’t work out, I’m going to need your address ’cause I’m coming over for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

  41. You are right it’s not for wimps, however it hasn’t stopped me from feeling so wimpy. Thanks for your words of encouragement, they mean a lot especially coming from a former school teacher. It’s difficult not to compare myself to the other moms especially in this area where everyone seems so on top of things. Hopefully my sense of humor will help bridge the gaps, hopefully. I will keep you posted :/.

  42. Sista Susan, you know me better then most… I’m always looking for JOY in the journey, even when the journey seems hard there is always something to smile about. I just hope this journey doesn’t end on the Dr. Phil Show…. ‘Cause that ain’t really how I roll :)).

    Much love,
    Sista Beehive <3

  43. Sista Beehive, You will do a wonderful job. I hope this advice helps. I look at my children as if they were pretzels. As they grow you will need to twist them into shape a little and put a little heat on them. They may want to fire you, but they need you. They will love having you around more for sure. Don’t compete with your husband in the process. I lost to many pretzel making contests to him so many years ago. You both together are the most wonderful people I have known. Good Luck and may God bless you in your newest endeavor.

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